Friday, June 28, 2013

Frantic Mama's Recent Joys

There are the huge, gigantic joys of being a mother-- that first positive pregnancy test, that first time you get to hold your baby.  But I think it might be the small, too-easy-to-forget moments that sustain us and keep us going.  The little happy moments, the ones where you feel so lucky to have your children and to be their mom.  The moments when no one is crying, the chicken nuggets have been eaten, and no one has a runny nose.

Here are a few of those recent [fleeting] moments I hope I don't soon forget:

1.  My now three-year-old son has his "you" and "me" pronouns reversed.  This means he refers to himself as "you," and to me, his mom, as "me."  (Makes sense when you think about it.  Since I call him "you," and refer to myself as  "me" and "I," he's really just following suit).  But anyway, the other day, I put him in his car seat, and he looked at me and said, "You love me."  Yeah.  It was the best part of my day.  Maybe my week.

2.  My baby daughter often gets placed in the red wagon so I can pull her around the yard while trailing after my very busy son.  It was only a matter of time before my son decided he would "help" me pull her in the wagon.  I reluctantly let him grab the handle and pull her...and my daughter belly laughed the whole time.  Which made my son laugh.  Which made me laugh.  It was simply awesome.

3.  My son refers to anything multi-colored as "tricked out."  Multi-colored Goldfish?  They're Tricked Out Goldfish.  Rainbow-hued Whoozit (baby toy)?  Tricked Out Whoozit.  Candy-colored tree frogs?  Tricked Out Frogs.  It's hilarious.

4.  The only top teeth my 9 month old has are her crooked little incisors (the ones next to where her front teeth will someday be).  She also has two random bottom teeth.  How can I put this?  She is the cutest little snaggletooth/Toothless Wonder I've ever seen.

What are some of your little moments that get you through the tough stuff?  Use my new Disqus Comment Box (just click on Comments)!

~Frantic Mama

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Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Sheesh! I Need a Thicker Skin

It looks as though Frantic Mama is going to need to develop a thicker skin as my blog's audience grows.  Who knew someone (actually, more than one) would take the time to make a itemized list of how they disagree with all of my ideas (on my BlogHer featured post about what not to give at a baby shower)?  That list is supposed to make you chuckle, people, not foam at the mouth!

I write this blog for fun, to help other moms laugh, and I suppose to help myself laugh at the insanity of new parenthood.  I really believe in supporting each other, especially those of us putting ourselves out there.

Ah, well, time to get a thicker skin!

~Frantic Mama

Monday, June 24, 2013

Frantic Mama Featured on BlogHer!

Hello Loyal Readers--

My post, What Not to Give at a Baby Shower, has been featured on the women's blogger and publishing network, BlogHer (June 2013).  I hope you can check it out (click on the link below), and please add any "waste of registry" items to the growing list!  :)

Update (July 2013): Since BlogHer posted my little piece, I have discovered just how many people LOVE onesies.  Clearly I'm in the minority on that one.  Haha.

Thank you so much to all of you who are so supportive!

~Frantic Mama

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Monday, June 17, 2013

Things I Never Thought I'd Say (before I became a mom)

You know how before you had kids, you and your spouse didn't really talk about gross bodily functions, bedtime and nap routines, or the benefits of breastfeeding (sore nipples and all)?

You thought you'd be different. You would be the couple who stays true to who you are, even with kids. You wouldn't change your life around children, they would have to fit into your life!

Enough already.

                          (Not my kid; but is there anything more stressful than the sound of your own crying baby?)

Here are some things I now say quite regularly (though I never thought I would) now that I'm a mom:

1.  Did he/she have a big poop yet? (met with either: yes, thank goodness, or a disappointed, oh great.  Seriously, we have been known to plan our days around poops).

2.  It's 8 o'clock already?  I've got to get to bed.

3.  I'm way too exhausted to commit to an entire movie.

4.  No, I can't meet you for Happy, ever.

5.  Staying home with a baby is way harder than it looks.

6.  Wait, preschool doesn't start til age 3?  Three?!

7.  I'll find you on Facebook!

8.  Come on, Let's go!  Little Einsteins.  We need you!

9.  You mean, like, going out at 9?  Nine at night?  

10.  Hand me the nose sucker (a.k.a nasal aspirator)!

11.  Do you want a mini Snickers or [another] package of Scooby-Doo fruit snacks? (i.e. Dear God, just be good!).

12.  Did we leave the house today?  *Thinks hard*  Let's see...we got the mail.

13.  She's up already?  Ugh.  Just let her cry it out a bit and see if she falls back asleep.

14.  What's it going to be next: Lazytown or The Backyardigans?

15.  You pin his arms down while I fish out the booger.

16.  I can't possibly manage to put on jeans today.

17.  I shaved my legs this week!

18.  If you are good at the grocery store, you can have a couple M&M's when we get home.  Okay, okay, you can have five M&M's.

I'm sure there are plenty more.  What surprising words have you found coming out of your mouth these days?  

~Julia @ Frantic Mama

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Saturday, June 15, 2013


Dear Readers--

I'm so excited!  One of my short posts, "Watching the Clock," was featured on the awesome parenting/literary site,  If you haven't checked out their site yet, I'd highly recommend it.  The writers are funny, smart, and poignant.  And most important, they are honest.

Check out my piece and more in the Because I Said So category: 

*2014 Update:  Would you believe it?  They've had me on there a few times since I originally wrote this post.  Check them out here

Happy Weekend (we hope!)

~Frantic Mama

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Monday, June 10, 2013

The Pediatrician's Office: A Trip to Hell and Back

Is there a worse Hell on earth than the pediatrician's office?

Maybe if you have one of those rare easygoing, relaxed children, it isn't so awful.  At least it means you get out of the house, right?  If that's the case, you can stop reading.  For most of us, a trip to the doctor is even worse than a playgroup.  

I've tried several different tactics to prepare my son for the doctor.  I've done the emotion coaching and the fair warnings (Tomorrow, we get to go to the doctor! and I know you are scared; it's okay to be scared, but I will be there the whole time).  We've read books about doctor visits and we've watched Curious George Goes to the Doctor.  Nothing has worked.  My son gets riled up about it as soon as I squeak out the word doctor-- whether it's a week or two minutes before the appointment.

How do I survive the unavoidable?  I give my son things to stall the inevitable tantrum, of course.  Can he have his pacifier (don't judge me)?  Yes.  Can he have [two packages of] fruit snacks in the car?  Sure.  Can he hold onto my phone and watch Youtube clips of the Wiggles for the entire car ride and once we get to the office?  You bet.  Anything to calm him down and prevent the red-faced crying that I (and the doctor and nurses) are bound to eventually endure.  

I can just picture the poor doctor when she looks at her chart and sees our name.   I envision her taking a deep breath, exhaling loudly, and pumping herself up (I can do this!) before entering the exam room.

As she optimistically enters the room to greet us, smiling and friendly, my son's eyes just about pop out of his head.  He's ready to leave.  NOW.  Let's face it-- he's been ready.  Now he holds nothing back.

The fun has just begun!  The real treat is when the chitchat is over and the physical exam begins.  If you ever need help pinning your child's arms and legs down so the doctor can peek into his ears or look at his throat, call me.  I've had loads of experience with it.  

Don't even get me started on the the shots, the germs, and the stethoscope.

~Julia @ Frantic Mama

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*I wrote this when my son was 3.  Fortunately, things have gotten a bit easier.  The pediatrician's office is still no picnic, but it isn't as death-defying as it used to be.  The dentist is another story.