Friday, April 29, 2016

The G Word

I think guilt might be the number one mental plague of most mothers.

In summary, below you'll find just a few of the things I've felt guilty about in just the past week alone:

Not getting my kids outside enough.

Too much screen time.

Not signing my daughter up for a winter or spring soccer group.

Working too much.

Not working enough.

Drinking too much coffee.

Letting my son wear shorts to school when it was still cold out.

Not being a good enough friend.

Avoiding playgroups and playdates.

Spending too much money at Target.

Not being a good enough daughter/sister/wife.

Losing my temper/yelling.

Being overly permissive with my kids.

Eating too much processed food.

Letting my daughter have a chocolate chip muffin every morning for breakfast.

Not getting my kids to drink enough milk.

Not helping my daughter stop sucking her thumb.

Putting off weeding my garden.

Letting my kids eat chips whenever they feel like it.


Yes, some of these are contradictory. 

That's part of the problem. The illogical aspect is what adds to the overwhelming, impossible nature of mom guilt.

So what to make of it all? Is there a way to give up the guilt permanently? To accept that good enough is good enough?

Ideally, yes, with some introspection and forgiveness, guilt would gently fade into the background.

On a good day, I think it can. There are days and evenings I feel pretty positive and optimistic. Other days-- the hard ones-- the guilt doubles down and multiplies.

I'm not listing my thoughts for someone to make me feel better. I know that deep down I'm doing the best I can. I'm sharing my own guilty thoughts because I know there are other moms out there who feel the same way. Many of you are also haunted by guilty thoughts.

You aren't alone.

I don't have all the answers, but I can offer you that. I'm like you-- just trying to survive enjoy one day and the next, and mostly doing the best I can.

~Julia @ Frantic Mama


  1. My weekly lists are very similar to yours. Current item is the number of M&M's I'm eating as I type this comment. You're not alone!

    1. M&M's! Yes! I was rather addicted to the peanut ones last fall and I quit cold turkey :). But now that I'm thinking of them again, hmmmm... I might reconsider. Protein, you know? Thank you for reading and commiserating!

  2. Yep, I don't have exactly the same last, but too much screentime, getting upset too much, working too much/not enough, not cleaning house enough... all of these are on my list. I'm thankful for understanding, living family members!

    1. Understanding family members can be such a huge help! I am so fortunate to have a sister who I can tell anything to and she never judges me.

  3. Alone? No, Not! I am guilty too.Just the same. Of letting mine get away with a lot of candy . Of too much screen time and all the things you say . And more besides. There isn't time enough for the guilt to wear off , before doing better I am already doing worse. But no ! Not alone. We are the members of the mamma tribe. All the same.❤

    1. Candy, hehe, yes, we have a "stash" that we use for 'rewards.' I try to scrub their teeth at night to counteract it. I dig in the stash a bit now and then as well. Thank you for sharing your stories along the ride, right next to me.

  4. Yes, I have been there. In fact this week was particularly brutal. Reading this helped. Thanks!!

    1. I'm so glad reading this helped ease the guilt a bit. Some days/weeks/months are worse than others. My daughter is playing with my phone right this minute so I can update my blog and catch up on bills. I'm trying not to feel guilty about that...


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