Monday, June 17, 2013

Things I Never Thought I'd Say (before I became a mom)

You know how before you had kids, you and your spouse didn't really talk about gross bodily functions, bedtime and nap routines, or the benefits of breastfeeding (sore nipples and all)?

You thought you'd be different. You would be the couple who stays true to who you are, even with kids. You wouldn't change your life around children, they would have to fit into your life!

Enough already.

                          (Not my kid; but is there anything more stressful than the sound of your own crying baby?)

Here are some things I now say quite regularly (though I never thought I would) now that I'm a mom:

1.  Did he/she have a big poop yet? (met with either: yes, thank goodness, or a disappointed, oh great.  Seriously, we have been known to plan our days around poops).

2.  It's 8 o'clock already?  I've got to get to bed.

3.  I'm way too exhausted to commit to an entire movie.

4.  No, I can't meet you for Happy, ever.

5.  Staying home with a baby is way harder than it looks.

6.  Wait, preschool doesn't start til age 3?  Three?!

7.  I'll find you on Facebook!

8.  Come on, Let's go!  Little Einsteins.  We need you!

9.  You mean, like, going out at 9?  Nine at night?  

10.  Hand me the nose sucker (a.k.a nasal aspirator)!

11.  Do you want a mini Snickers or [another] package of Scooby-Doo fruit snacks? (i.e. Dear God, just be good!).

12.  Did we leave the house today?  *Thinks hard*  Let's see...we got the mail.

13.  She's up already?  Ugh.  Just let her cry it out a bit and see if she falls back asleep.

14.  What's it going to be next: Lazytown or The Backyardigans?

15.  You pin his arms down while I fish out the booger.

16.  I can't possibly manage to put on jeans today.

17.  I shaved my legs this week!

18.  If you are good at the grocery store, you can have a couple M&M's when we get home.  Okay, okay, you can have five M&M's.

I'm sure there are plenty more.  What surprising words have you found coming out of your mouth these days?  

~Julia @ Frantic Mama

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