Tuesday, July 9, 2013

Interesting Phenomenon: I Miss My Kids

You know how staying home with little ones day after day can start to wear on you?  Yes, you love them.  You really, really love them.  But the days can be long.  So, so, so long.  Especially if you find yourself in the midst of a week with no mommy and me classes, no sunny weather, and no playdates (and you know me, I find playdates exhausting, but at least it’s contact with the outside world).

I’ve been there, my friends.  And to draw upon my Hoosier roots, I can honestly say, those days/weeks/months ain’t easy

So here’s my question:  how is it possible that I miss my kids, even our somewhat humdum routine, after about 20 minutes of travel? 

I suppose now that I’m a parent of two little ones who I adore on even our most trying days, it is that bittersweet, poignant realization-- that only comes with parenthood-- that I have so much to lose.  I know it’s morbid.  But really, I've given everything to these children in the past several years, and as a result, they (and yes, my husband) mean everything to me.  My family truly is my reason for living. 

So especially for someone who has always been a nervous flyer (yes, I know.  It’s safer than driving etc.), flights take on a whole new level of anxiety when I’m leaving the kids behind at our house, warm and cozy in their little beds, as I find myself dozens of miles above them. 

                                                               (Image from Wikipedia)

I also miss the little things almost immediately.  I miss my son (with his confused pronouns) shyly professing “you love me.”  I miss my baby daughter and her snaggletooth, gummy grin when my husband or I walk in the door.  I miss their wet, sticky kisses, their chubby little hands and feet.

However, everyone around me (even me before heading out) encourages me to take a break.  They remind me that it’s important to get a little space.  That it’s good to miss them a little. 

So, every couple of years, I do it.  For a couple of days, I venture out solo to visit a family member or meet up with an old friend, and I say a little heartfelt prayer to keep my children and me safe during my journey, so that we can continue our lives as a happy—if imperfect—family.

~Julia @ Frantic Mama

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