Sunday, June 1, 2014

Frantic Mama Vent on Mommy Amnesia

I haven't aired any frustrations related to Motherhood recently, so now feels like a good time to do so.  Here is my latest and greatest annoyance:

Moms who COMPLETELY FORGET how hard it is to have young children.

My son just turned 4.  My daughter will be 2 in a few months.  Every second of my day right now is busy, and it starts very early.  If one of them is happy, the other one is likely crying, pooping, or about to take the happy one's toy.  If one is sleeping (and only one of them does so during the day now), the other one wants NEEDS my undivided attention.

So, moms with older/school-age kids who ask to meet us at the park or go on some other complicated outing?  No.  No, thank you.  Because I know what will happen there:  You will be there with your 5 year old (or older) kid, sitting on a bench waving happily to her, or perhaps pushing her on the swing.  I, however, will be chasing around my toddler in a sweat, as she tries to put everything in her mouth, repeatedly falls down, attempts climbs up the slide while bigger kids are coming down; my preschooler will be pulling at me the whole time to A.  Go Home.  or  B. get me to play with him/chase him/go down the slide with him.  Therefore, you and I will have little or no interaction while at the park.  Unless you are fully prepared to help me with these endeavors, again, thanks but no thanks.  Because I also know that I will end up leaving the park feeling hot, dirty, and exhausted.  My kids will too.  And then I will feel bad about myself for many, many reasons.

(Not my baby, but I ask you: How do people forget how stressful the sound of one's own baby crying  is?)

In sum:

I do not understand how people forget what it is like to have your days completely ruled by the whims, moods, and appetites of young babies.  (Related rant: don't ask me in passing a nonchalant "how it's going?" while one baby is crying on my hip to be put down while the other one is taking his shoes off on the way to the car.  Because it's going.  It's going hard).

There are moments of exquisite joy, cuteness, and fun every single day with my little ones, but there are more, longer moments where I am tired and need a break and could use the extra hands of that friend who has time and hands to offer.

I am taking a self-imposed oath right now that I will reach out to new moms when my kids are the older ones, when I have a chance to breathe.  I will show up ready to change diapers, take a walk with you, or watch Dora with your kids.  I will most certainly not ask you to meet me and my future 6 year old at a park on a hot day, just to watch you chase your toddlers around while I sip iced coffee on the bench.

~Frantic Mama

P.S.  I do have a couple of friends with older or fewer children who have been enormously helpful and supportive of me the last year or two, and I completely appreciate them.  But it is rare.

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