Wednesday, August 13, 2014

(More) Things 4-Year-olds Say

*Updated: September 2014*

My son turned 4 in May, and the things that come out of his mouth often crack me up.

Here are a few recent favorites.  Share some of your own in the Comments (below the post) or on my Facebook page.  

*Caveat:  The following might only be amusing to FranticMamaHubby and me.  

Son walked in to my room while I was getting dressed.
Son:  Mama, you have big underwear.
Me:  Thanks, bud.

My son came home from preschool one day and told me that a girl in his class had shared a few rules they follow at her house.  One was, "don't chew with your mouth open."
Me [holding breath]:  Oh, that's a good one.  What rules did you say we have at our house?
Son, smiling and thrilled, [throwing his arms out with wild abandon]:  We don't have any rules!
Me: uhhhhhh...  [clearly, I'm doing something wrong here]

Recently, I dared go to the bathroom alone and shut the door.  My son quickly followed, didn't hesitate to open the door, and when I looked at him in surprise, he explained, "but I like to be with you...all the time."

While he has eaten chicken, fish, and beef for a long time now, my son is just beginning to understand that those foods were once...animals-- i.e. living, breathing creatures.  This transitional knowledge is not going well, and I change the subject whenever the source of a chicken finger or fish stick comes up in hopes he will continue to consume the few proteins he is willing to eat.
Here is one conversation:
Son: "So, a fish stick isn't really fish," he implores hopefully, staring at his plate.
Me [reluctantly]:  "Well, yeah, it is actually fish, cooked so you can eat it."
Son:  "Well" [struggling to rationalize this]... "but it's not the kind of fish you catch in the water though..."
Me, wondering what other kinds of fish there might be?:  "Right..."

While watching Lazytown, in which a superhero in a tight, blue spandex sports a strange thin mustache, my son asked, "when I am a man, can I have a mustache?"
Me, surprised that would appeal to him:  "Sure, that's fine." [Also thinking, dude, if that's the biggest issue we face as you grow up, I'll be thrilled].

Lots of little kids bite.  It never alarms me very much.  I was counting on the fact that my daughter would eventually bite her brother if she was teething or testing him, but I wasn't expecting his reaction.
Son, alarmed yet oddly amused: "Mama!  She's chewing me!"
Me, not able to control laughing:  "She's chewing you?!  Bwhahahahaha!"

(Image not mine (Google Images); but is there anything better than laughing with (or at) your kids 
or seeing them crack each other up?)

He has also disclosed to us recently that he is "very interested in tattoos."  One night, when my husband had just tucked him into bed, my son, eyes huge, whispered seriously, "Dad, I have to tell you something."
Husband, a little nervous, with baited breath:  "Ok..."
Son:  "At the baseball game, in line for the ice cream, there was a guy with lots of tattoos."
And???  (That was it).

On a more serious note, I recently decided that it was time to gradually begin introducing the concept of life and death to my son (I have no clue if I'm early or late on this one-- probably late), but he is so very sensitive and worryful (my word) that I held off on it for a long time.
I showed him a book with angels and told him that once people or animals die, they can become angels.  He seemed intrigued with this idea, and it didn't make him too upset (though tears welled up in my eyes when he asked if "boys or girls ever are angels...and if Mama and Dada would be angels too?").
In any case, there was a dead bee on the floor of our garage that I hadn't cleaned up, and he noticed that it had not moved...for a while.  He must have figured out it wasn't 'just sleeping' (as I had so often said about lifeless animals before), and looked at it a long time.
Son:  "Mama, is that an angel bee?"
It was just so poignant and dear.

After preschool one day:
Son, matter-of-fact:  "Mama, not everyone wears hair."
Me, stifling laughter-- clearly he had seen a bald person at school that day and has asked his teacher where his hair was: "Well, um, yes, that's right..."
The bigger picture here:  Is he so sheltered he had NEVER seen a bald person before?!  We really need to get out more.

Pulling out of McDonald's Drive-thru:
Me:  "Yes, you can have a fry on the way home, but remember, it might be too hot.  So drink water if it is."
Son:  eats fry...silence...
Me:  "Are you okay?  Was it too hot?"
Son:  "It was hot, but all you need to do is just wiggle it around in your mouth a while like this" [enacts hilarious movement of fry in mouth wagging his face back and forth to "cool it off"].

Funny little moments during the day really help me lighten up and appreciate the fun of having young children in the house [all day long], so I like to try to remember them when I can.

P.S. Pssst:  Think these are funny?  I think the quotes from when he was 3 are even more absurd.  

P.P.S. My very personal piece regarding postpartum anxiety is up on Mamalode's site starting today. Click here to check it out [she says, while hiding behind a blanket all day].

~Julia @ Frantic Mama
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