Recently, you might have seen this image show up on your Facebook newsfeed:
It's a photo I took of my 4 year-old daughter's lunch. Even funnier is that I didn't find her meat-and-cheese pairing too unusual until my husband started laughing when he saw it. Yes, it did look ridiculous, I thought, and I snapped the photo to share with my fabulously fun readers.
The image took off, and I thought, Yay! Moms are laughing because they GET IT. We all have days/weeks where we 'forget' the veggies, can't find time to fold laundry, and eat frozen pizza like it's our job. Real Life is refreshing. And FUNNY.
What surprised me more were the nasty comments when Today Parents shared my little humor post on their massive Facebook page. It's a prime example of the "Mom Shaming" trend you may have heard about.
I kid you not: Women-- people who I think of as MY people-- said my kids would be "fat" (I detest the word "fat," and I could go on, but that alone is fodder for another post...); one lady said I'm basically "poisoning them," another noted that I should add "grapes to complete the choking hazard trifecta," and yet another gem of wisdom: "it wouldn't have been hard for her to throw some fruit and veggies on that plate." Really? You mean, we're supposed to consume actual fruits and vegetables?!
Whoa now, people! Deep breaths, deep breaths.
I would ask these commenters, how about taking a step back, and fine, if the picture doesn't make you laugh, just keep on scrolling? Why on earth pause what you are doing to criticize another mother who clearly shared the image to help other parents laugh at themselves and admit our imperfections?
I am not perfect, and I'm pretty sure the commenters aren't either. However, I'm not going to bully. I won't name names.
I think this experience is also a good example of the illusion of Internet anonymity. All too often, we think online comments don't affect real people-- that's there's not a real mom behind the screen doing the best she can (and laughing about it when she falls short).
In the end, I stopped reading the comments. The experience was like a paper cut-- annoying but not enough to make me quit and cower. If anything, it added another layer to my skin (it gets thick fast as a writer). You'll be happy to know my husband and I had a good chuckle over it.
Here's the link to the post the Today Show shared.
~Julia @ Frantic Mama
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