Saturday, January 24, 2015

Watch Out for Mommy Brain

Do you often forget simple words and phrases?

Do you find yourself walking into a room only to forget what you originally wanted?

Do you frequently lose your train of thought mid-sentence?

Have you started to stutter, especially in the company of other adults?

Do you find yourself tripping over the simplest Dr. Suess pages, especially at night time?

If you answered "yes" to any of these questions, you might be suffering from a condition known as Mommy Brain.



What is it?

Mommy Brain is a common psychological and physiological condition that predominately affects women of childbearing age who have children ages 0-5 in the house.  [Note: Mommy Brain is positively correlated to the number of offspring; the more children under the age of 5 in the house, the more severe the Mommy Brain will be.]

Preventative Care:  Don't have children.

However, if it's too late for that option, there are steps you can take to alleviate-- but not completely cure-- the most troubling symptoms.

What to do?

1.  Drink plenty of coffee.  This is as necessary as water in temporarily suppressing the symptoms of Mommy Brain.  Recommended intake:  2-5 cups daily.

2.  Consider at least occasionally sleeping in the basement, or as far from your children as possible, in order to reach that elusive REM sleep you keep reading about.

3.  Whenever possible, roll down the windows of your minivan to allow fresh oxygen to reach the foggy recesses of your brain.

4.  Do not read more than 2 storybooks per night to your children or you will be at risk for increased slurring and stuttering.

5.  Indulge in the occasional Girl's Night Out, where you can talk with other grown-ups without constantly pausing to change diapers, clean up spilled juice, or turn on an episode of Dora [Note: Slurring can occur here too, from different causes.]


*See Related Conditions:  Pregnancy Brain, Newborn Amnesia, Starting-to-Sound-Like-My-Mother Syndrome

We are always interested in collecting more anecdotal evidence to support the Mommy Brain prognosis.  Please share your own history with Mommy Brain as well as any tried-and-true home remedies in the Comments.

~Julia @ Frantic Mama

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5 comments:

  1. This is great! I am so there! Thanks for sharing!

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  2. So glad I'm not the only one suffering from Mommy Brain, Becky. I thought of another remedy that might work to alleviate the most troubling symptoms: a child-free vacation (no offense, kids!)! :)

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    1. I don't think I remember what a child-free vacation is - lol

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  3. Fellow sufferer here. I attempted to sleep in the basement with the white noise app (which I originally downloaded for my infant when she was a newborn), only to have it completely backfire. Instead of sleeping soundly, I was stressed out and tossing and turning b/c I couldn't tell whether the baby was still crying or not. Awesome.

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    1. Oh, I can so see how sleeping far away from the baby could backfire! I was so tired a few times with my second that I was able to sleep for a couple of nights down there while my husband was on call with the baby... but it took getting used to :).

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